When I was a little kid, I was convinced I could fly. Anyone who knows me will once again wonder how on Earth I have not gotten myself killed yet. I did, though. I used to have dreams about flying so much as a little kid I thought I could. I would clamberer out of my bed in the night, stand on the floor beneath my window, and just soar up through it into the night sky. I still remember what it felt like, a strange pull in my gut as my feet would leave the ground. I remember the feel of the icy air ripping through my thin night-gown. I remember flying with strangely vivid detail, even as an adult. Part of me knew that flying was a night time thing, and no one could ever know, but I also knew I couldn't force it. My ability to fly wasn't one I had perfect control over, but that was okay. I relished the moments I got to spend sky born.
This is something I don't give much thought to these days. Once in a while something will trigger the thought or memory and there will be a deep sink in my stomach. A sort of dull, lingering sadness, one that will never quite go away, I only get to forget about it. Yes, I am saying that not being able to fly is one that causes me ongoing angst. I am well aware that it is silly. My more jaded, sensible adult self is reluctant to admit that I used to think I could fly, even thought the memories will sometimes bubble up to the surface with more vivid detail than almost anything else from my childhood. Still... I can't be the only one who sometimes is just really sad that we can't fly, right?
This post made me think of this definition that someone made up:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/16844950603/mahpiohanzia
Glad to know that it's at least common enough that someone sat down to define it.
DeleteI used to think I could fly, too. I don't remember much; I think fairies came into my house and helped me escape... something. Unfortunately, my dreams sometimes ended with me plummeting to my death, except at the last minute I woke up in my bed. The only logical explanation? The fairies saved me! Yeah, I was a confused child. I still maintained through my childhood years that I really COULD fly, and my parents were confused and jealous and didn't know what they were talking about. *Sigh*. I also thought I could talk to cats and went around meowing all the time, so I suppose the flying thing isn't that weird.
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