Hello! I'm Alex, otherwise known as
Editor #2, or Mad Scientist Alex. I'll be filling in for Erika this
week, as she's moving and may or may not have Internet again by the
time this is supposed to be posted. I was originally tasked to do
Chapter 14, but Erika decided that it would be far too cruel and
inhumane and took it upon herself. Apparently I dodged an artillery
shell there, as I have heard that Chapter 15 is far more humane.
Let's find out if that's the case! Onward!
The chapter begins with a very short
scene of Grey following Ana into the bathroom, and attempting to
console her. This, of course, means that Erika lost last week's bet,
since this wasn't even close to seven seconds into the scene. It was
more like zero. They end up cuddling on the bathroom floor while Ana
cries herself out. After forever, Grey carries Ana off to bed and
they go to sleep.
I'm not entirely sure why this scene
warrants being the start of a new chapter. It's a mere three very
short paragraphs that I think would have fit better as the end of the
last chapter, rather than being the start of a new one. I suppose
that it makes Ana's storming off to the bathroom at the of the last
chapter seem much more dramatic and important than it actually was.
Ana wakes up with a headache after a
dark and troubled sleep. She decides to go on a quest for Advil.
Her first challenge is freeing herself from Grey, who's wrapped
himself around her like a vine! A short, uneventful struggle later,
Ana has freed herself from Grey's entanglement and makes her way to
the kitchen. There she finds the objective of her long quest, as
well as some orange juice. While waiting for the precious headache
relief to kick in, she wanders over to the window to enjoy the view
from Grey's fortress. While gazing out on city of Seattle at night,
Ana contemplates moving in with Grey, marrying Grey, and finally
Grey's Oedipus Complex.
My
smile fades. I look like his mother. This wounds me, deeply, and the
air leaves my lungs in a rush. We all look like his mom.
Taken
out of context, that last line amuses me more than it probably
should.
It's
probably inaccurate to refer to Grey's issue as an Oedipus Complex,
since what he really seems to be doing is using BDSM as a means of
living out his fantasy of beating his negligent crack whore mom.
However, his love of Ana does seem to be fairly well grounded in it,
as, in contrast to his mom, she's “good and pure”. I guess that
makes Ana some sort of surrogate mother figure for Grey? What about
his adoptive mother? Alright. I'm done with this paragraph and
don't want to dig any deeper into this mess. Onward!
I
lied, one more thing on this: I am surprised that Ana, with all the
unnecessary literary references she made in the first book hasn't
made any references to Oedipus herself yet.
Ana
once again contemplates getting more information from Dr. Flynn.
Considering that its come up a few times in past entries, I can only
assume that this is supposed to be foreshadowing for Ana's eventual
meeting with Dr. Flynn. I have to admit, I am somewhat curious to
see how terrible that scene is.
Ana's
reverie is suddenly interrupted by a terrifying scream! Has one of
Grey's warlock pets escaped? Has Grey's Dark Master from Beyond torn
its way into reality to claim Ana's soul? Did someone witness the
Grey's Dark God's arrival in this world and gone mad from his
inability to comprehend this nightmarish being's horrific glory?
Nope.
It's just Grey having a nightmare that Ana left him. Wasn't that
the end of the last book? Was the entire first book really just a
nightmare Grey had? That would explain the scream. Anyway, Ana
consoles him and naturally they have sex, but with a twist! Grey
gives Ana permission to touch him in his special areas*! A shocking
development, I'm sure.
“Don’t
ever leave me,” he whispers, and I roll my eyes in the full
knowledge that he can’t see me.
“I
know you’re rolling your eyes at me,” he murmurs, and I hear the
trace of humor in his voice.
“You
know me well,” I murmur.
“I’d
like to know you better.”
“Back
at you, Grey.[...]”
Now,
maybe I'm just old fashioned, but that seems to be the sort of
question you ask someone before you ask them to marry you.
Anyway,
Ana asks Grey about his nightmare, and he opens up, explaining that
he was reliving his memories of when he was three, and his mom's pimp
used him to put out cigarettes because he couldn't find an ashtray,
and how Grey is angry that she didn't do anything to protect him. I
can understand Grey's anger here. If you allow people to smoke in
your apartment, it's only polite to provide them with an ashtray,
otherwise you risk getting burn marks in your carpet, furniture or
children.
“Sometimes
in the dreams she’s just lying on the floor. And I think she’s
asleep. But she doesn’t move. She never moves. And I’m hungry.
Really hungry.”
And
here's Grey's most traumatic memory again. This piece of Grey's
characterization always annoys me. He considers food to be
super-important, to the point that he wants to micromanage his Sub's
diets because he spent three days starving alone in an apartment, AND
YET HE CANNOT COOK FOR HIMSELF. Now, I have life threatening food
allergies, as a result I consider having the ability to cook my own
meals critically important, since it greatly reduces my chances of
accidental death and/or hospitalization and/or misery. Now, I'm not
a Food Wizard by any means, but I do take pride that I've lived
twenty seven years and never had to resort to eating KD. I can only
imagine that someone who starved for three days because he was unable
to fend for himself, would consider it important to be able to fend
for himself. I certainly wouldn't expect Grey to be a Food Warlock
or even a master chef (although he would be), but I certainly expect
him to know how to cut a god damn pepper.
“You
are so precious to me, Ana. I was serious about marrying you. We can
get to know each other then. I can look after you. You can look after
me. We can have kids if you want. I will lay my world at your feet,
Anastasia. I want you, body and soul, forever. Please think about
it.”
And
further proof that Grey is a Warlock and/or Necromancer.
Grey
goes on to talk a bit more about how loveless his childhood was, and
how his mother's pimp would beat him. Ana asks if that's the reason
he doesn't like to be touched, and he tells her that its complicated,
but that Dr. Flynn could explain better. Naturally, this leads Ana
to asking if she could talk to Dr. Flynn, and Grey agrees and then
tells her to go back to sleep.
Ana
rushes to get ready to go to work in the morning, while Grey tries to
convince her to call in sick instead. Surprisingly, she does somehow
manage to make it out the door, and gets a ride to work from Taylor.
Despite Taylor driving like a Meatloaf album, Ana still arrives late.
Her boss is in a foul mood, and while she's supposed to be typing up
a barely legible letter for her boss she instead starts an e-mail
conversation with Grey, who has to remind her three times that she
owns a Blackberry and not to use the company e-mail for private
correspondence.
As
soon as she picks up her Blackberry, she gets a call from José, who
shockingly hadn't fallen off the planet, and agrees to talk to him
soon, after she's talked to Grey about it. Still, she takes a moment
to pause and reflect on Grey's double standard:
So,
I could spend the evening with José on Friday. How will Christian
like that? I become aware that I am biting my lip till it hurts. Oh,
that man has double standards. He can—I shudder at the
thought—bathe his batshit ex-lover, but I will probably get a
truckload of grief for wanting to have a drink with José. How
am I going to handle this?
Ana's
reverie is interrupted by Jack reminding her that she's supposed to
be actually doing work. She quickly finishes typing up that letter,
does a terrible job and Jack makes her redo it, and get him another
coffee while she's at it. After numerous trials and tribulations,
Ana eventually succeeds in typing the letter and getting it
photocopied. Ethan calls and asks if he can stop by and get his keys
back from Ana. He does so. Jack sends Ana out to get him something
for lunch. Ana begins to regret not skipping work and staying home
with Grey.
On
her way out, she finally checks her messages on her Blackberry and
discovers she has a collection of unchecked messages from Grey.
Including this winner:
From:
Christian Grey
Subject:
Discretion
Date:
June 15, 2011 09:50
To:
Anastasia Steele
Is
the better part of valor.Please use discretion . . . your work
e-mails are monitored.HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS?Yes.
Shouty capitals as you say. USE YOUR BLACKBERRY.Dr. Flynn can see us
tomorrow evening.xChristian GreyStill Pissed CEO, Grey Enterprises
Holdings Inc.
Good old
shouty capitals. Ana calls Grey, as he was beginning to get worried
in his more recent messages, and is shocked to get his receptionist,
as Grey is in a meeting. Ana leaves a message with the receptionist,
only for her to recognize Ana's name and forward her to Grey
regardless. Ana eases Grey's fears, complains about work and makes
arrangements to be picked up by him after she finishes work. Ana
completes her quest and gets lunch for Jack from the deli and returns
to work and delivers lunch.
He
is scowling when I get back.
“Is
it okay if I take my lunch now?” I ask tentatively. He gazes up at
me and his scowl deepens.
“If
you must,” he snaps. “Forty-five minutes. Make up the time you
lost this morning.”
“Jack,
can I ask you something?”
“What?”
“You
seem, kind of out of sorts today. Have I done something to offend
you?”
He
blinks at me momentarily. “I don’t think I’m in the mood to
list your misdemeanors right now. I’m busy.” He continues to
stare at his computer screen, effectively dismissing me.
Whoa
. . . What have I done?
Well,
there was all those typos and spelling errors you made in the first
draft of that letter... Ana leaves to go and find lunch of her own.
My
mind drifts. Christian the sadist. Christian the submissive.
Christian the untouchable. Christian’s oedipal impulses.
Christian bathing Leila. I groan and close my eyes while that last
image haunts me.
There
we go! Ana's long overdue reference to Oedipus! Ana spends the next
few paragraphs thinking about Grey, making more allusions to Greek
mythology, and wondering if she can provide him with the
unconditional love that a warlock of his calibre deserves, nay, is
entitled to! Ana hopes that Dr. Flynn can provide her with the
answer to that question. Then, and only then, can she know if she'll
be able to spend her life with Grey.
Having
lost track of time, Ana returns to work late from lunch. Jack, still
in a foul mood, assigns more work to her, asks her to stay late and
makes her get him another coffee. The fiend, expecting work from his
employees. How dare he!
Around
4, Mia shows up and informs Ana that Grey's birthday is on Saturday
and that she's organizing a party for him. Of course Grey hasn't
told her that his birthday is coming up soon. Let alone that it was
on the upcoming weekend.
“Cool.”
My mind is in a flat spin—what the hell am I going to get Christian
for his birthday? What do you buy the man who has everything?
I
heard a great joke that used “What do you buy for a person who has
everything” as the setup, but I cannot remember what the punchline
was. It's going to bug me for the rest of the day now.
Grey
and Ana have another e-mail discussion. Ana teases Grey about
getting old and asks him what she can get him for his birthday. She
informs Grey that she's been asked to work late, and asks Grey to
come and pick her up around 6:30.
The
end of the day approaches, and Ana has everything ready for her boss'
trip to New York. While waiting for him to finish on the phone so
she can deliver the last of the documents, she wanders over to the
break room to loot the communal cookie jar. Before she can claim one
of the delicious cookies within, her boss appears, closing the break
room door behind him!
He
stares at me. “Well, Ana, I think this might be a good time to
discuss your misdemeanors.” He steps in, closing the door
behind him, and my mouth instantly dries as alarm bells ring loud and
piercing in my head.
Oh
fuck.
His
lips twitch into a grotesque smile, and his eyes gleam a deep, dark
cobalt. “At last, I have you on your own,” he says, and he slowly
licks his lower lip.
What?
“Now
. . . are you going to be a good girl and listen very carefully to
what I say?”
And
now we've reached the shocking cliffhanger! Is this the SHOCKING
PLOT TWIST that everyone saw coming? Was Jack Hyde secretly a Creepy
Boss all along? Or is he just here to teach her how to type
properly? Perhaps he's only upset because he caught her with her
hand, literally, in the cookie jar? I don't know. I'll leave that
for Erika to find out!
Wow.
I survived an entire chapter and didn't even need to bust out the
whatnapple. I don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved. That's it
from me for now! Next week, we will return to your regularly
scheduled Erika in Chapter 16 of Fifty Shades Darker!
*This
might be the only time that phrase was used in reference to sex, but
not as an innuendo.
