Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Creeps in training

If you're of an age to be in an area where booze is served, and potentially not even then, you know what I mean when I refer to "creeps". I admit there is a female equivalent, but it doesn't tie into my story, so I'll be concentrating on the male variety here. There are a few types of creeps. But I am going to concentrate on one I encountered just this past weekend. The persistent but not specific guy.

I was at a house party of an acquaintance who still lives at home. I'm assuming his parents were out of town, and he was left with the charge of looking after his 16 year old brother. I assume as part of getting away with the party he was about to throw he struck a deal with his brother. He could have a friend over and he'd buy them a bottle of something. The legal drinking age for those of you readers not from around here is 19. Junior and his buddy seemed fine at the start of the night. Junior was loud and brash while Buddy looked about 12 (I was later told he had already turned 17) and was oblivious to social cues and waaay too into hockey (and this coming from a Canadian). Still, a harmless pair. That was before the drinking games started.

Now, I went to this party with a friend of mine, and The Boy. This particular friend of mine has the unfortunate luck of being a creep magnet. I've witnessed it first hand a few times. The two of us will be out and these really sketchy guys start chatting her up. I don't know why, but it blows my mind. She's hot, don't get me wrong, if I had a penis, I'd be trying pretty hard to put it in her, too, but it's almost exclusivity the creeps that seem to hit on her.

When she told me she had changed before the party, I eyed her skeptically, to which her answer was, "That's the idea." She had come prepared. I, on the other hand, had not. And we were the only two girls there.

Junior had been giving me the eye while he was sober, or, sober-er, but, hey, it happens. I've long since started giving the eye much heed, guys look at girls, it happens, so didn't start any evasive maneuvers. Besides, I was there with The Boy, and while we're not one of those couples who are attached at the hip and all over each other at parties, it's not like we hid the fact, either. At some point when he was no longer sober Junior ended up sitting next to me and talking to me. At one point in this conversation, he looks at me very seriously and announced "I feel that we have a real connection" this line has always sent me running for the hills, as the user is either insanely clingy, or just trying to get you in bed.

My response was, "You realize I came with, and am leaving with, him, right?" point to The Boy.

He glances at The Boy, "You're having sex with him?"


"Like, tonight?"

"Distinct possibility,"

Pause. He was talking to someone who might be having sex in just a few hours. This was a new experience for him. "A-are you spending the night here?" If this wasn't some drunk kid, that question would have terrified me. As it was, between that and The Boy being a few feet away, wasn't too worried.

"Nope. Going back to my place tonight. As I am old enough to have my own place."

"What's he got that I don't?"

"Well," I said speaking slowly, "for starters, he won't get me arrested"

"Minor details!" he proclaimed.

I realized this kid wasn't going to take the hint, "Anyways, I'm off," I said standing to leave.

"I love you!"

"Good for you" I managed to not burst out giggling until out of ear shot as I told The Boy what had just happened. He tried to hit on me a few times after that, but backed off once the whole "has a boyfriend" thing sunk in.

He then moved onto my friend, and she did not have the threat of a very tall boy to potential beat this kid up (not that The Boy would, as I have discovered, he'll sit back and laugh when drunk guys hit on me at parties. He claims if I ever REALLY needed a save he'd be there, but I remain skeptical) he was much more aggressive with her. Going as far as to grab her ass and yell "I tapped that, literally!" to his friend. I don't think he knows what that phrase is supposed to mean.

When a third woman showed up later in the night, he was all over her, as well. I found the kid hilarious, personally, but pity the women at any parties he's at once he's in his first year of college. Then again, maybe he'll have better luck when the girls he's hitting on are his own age?

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