What about straight pride? And other fun facts

The first "Pride Parade" was celebrating a police riot started by trans women of colour.  Stonewall was a riot against the police. This is part of why so many people are uncomfortable with police at Pride.  There's a long history and in most cities there still is a lot of police hostility and aggression toward queer people all of the rest of the year.

Pride is not for everyone! That's ok! The goal is not and never has been to be for everyone, or about "loving and accepting everyone!" It is a highly political celebration of defiance for continuing to exist even when people keep trying to murder you. Kind of like Hanukah.

It is for queer/rainbow/lgbt+/umbrella-term-of-your-choice people. This does not include cis het kinksters, allies, or people who just really like rainbows! This does include asexuals, aromantics, anyone who falls even partially under the trans umbrella, bisexuals, pansexuals, and anyone who considers themselves queer! Even if they're in what appears to be a "heterosexual relationship". The gender of their partner does not define their sexuality or gender.

"What, so you're saying because I'm cis and heterosexual that I can't/shouldn't go to pride?" No! Not at all! I'm saying that you need to understand that you are not the target demographic. You are not the person it is for. If you go just be mindful of that fact, and don't center it on you. Think of it like going to a friend's wedding of a different culture than your own. It isn't about you, you are there as a guest to participate and enjoy another culture's traditions, and you're going to defer to the members of that culture while there.

"What about Straight Pride?" No one has tried to kill heterosexuals for being heterosexuals. There have not been mass shootings or legislation against them existing, or getting married. People recognize their personhood! That's good! Also, Straight Pride is being organized by Nazis. I find a really helpful litmus test of "Is this something I want nothing to do with and should be actively against?" to be "Are nazis for it?"

"Ok so what does wearing glitter booty shorts and a feather boa on a float have to do with survival?" Pride is a celebration of life, and presence. Sometimes that involves nipples.

"So, what should I do to celebrate Pride?" FIGHT THE SYSTEM. No, really. Call your reps about systematic injustice. When people make shitty bigoted jokes, don't laugh along. Call it out, and if you can't do that, a flat cringe and "wow, so, anyways" can do wonders. Don't go to businesses that are bigoted. Support queer artists and creators. Buy their stuff, promote their stuff, not the corporations wearing rainbows. When queer people talk about their experiences, listen. Donate to queer organizations! Punch nazis! Brush up on bystander intervention so if you see someone getting harassed, you can use your privilege to help!

Have a happy (and political!) Pride!

(This is an edit of a Facebook post I wrote ages ago.)

Things to Keep In Mind Going Into Pride

Time for Another Educational Post for Pride! Here's some things to keep in mind going into Pride Month

Pride started with Stonewall, which was a riot against the police by poor trans WOC.
Because of this, Pride is inherently political.
This is also a big part of the reason people don't want police at Pride (it gets more complicated, but that's a post for another day).

"Why are people half naked at Pride? How is that political?" Pride is a lot of things to a lot of people. One of those is a celebration of resilience. People have and continue to try to kill us, and failed. We're still here. Sometimes celebrating life involves having a picnic with loved ones. Sometimes it involves standing on a float in a rainbow g-string throwing condoms and glitter out to a crowd.

People who are not cis gay/cis lesbians belong at Pride. Anyone under the queer umbrella belongs there. That includes aro/ace folks, that includes heterosexual trans folks, that includes bi/pan/any other sexuality and gender that is not hetero/cis.

If you are cis het and want to go to Pride, remember that it Isn't About You. That's a good thing! It means no one has been trying to murder or systematically deprive you for your sexuality or gender! Go, enjoy, support your queer friends! Resist the urge to center it on yourself.
If you are cis/het and go to Pride a good way to be supportive is putting yourself between bigots and the people they would harass. Look into by-standard intervention. Film cops that are giving people a hard time (DOUBLY SO IF THEY ARE A POC).

A lot of people set up shop at Pride events, try to support queer artists/shops with your money rather than hetero "allies" and corporations.

Remember to be safe, have fun, and punch nazis!

Queer Words

With Pride starting tomorrow, I'm going to do a string of Educational Posts. Today, we're doing some vocabulary for orientations and gender! Suggestions and requests for future topics are welcome. I am not most of the things on this list, so if you see one that applies to you that I didn’t get Quite Right, please tell me and I’ll edit in corrections. Please feel free to share this, just don't remove credit.

Heterosexual (hetero) - Base word hetero, based on the Greek word for different. Attraction to different genders.

Cisgender (cis) - Base word, cis, is Latin for "same side". People who identify with their gender as assigned as birth. So, if you popped out and they said "Congrats, it's a girl!" and you're like "Yeah ok" you're cis!

Cis Het – A combination of the two above, and as almost all umbrella terms refer to “not these things” I wanted to be very clear on this one.

Homosexual (homo) - Base word homo, meaning same. People attracted to the same gender.

Subcategories

Gay (so many other terms) - Means "happy" and usually refers to men attracted to other men. It is also often used as an umbrella term for not cis het folks (EX: Gay rights, gay marriage) to keep things nice and confusing!

Lesbian – “From the island of Lesbos” aka where Sappho, a poet known for writing love poetry about other women is from. Despite being known as “the biggest lesbian to ever lesbian” Sappho was actually bi, fun fact!

Queer – Means strange, and is an umbrella term for “not cis het” with a lot of baggage. Historically it’s been a slur, but has been reclaimed since. However due to said history a lot of people have mixed and complicated feelings about it. Some people like it because it’s provocative and has history, other’s dislike it for those same reasons.

Bisexual (bi) – Base word meaning “two”, the Official Definition By Bis is “two or more” or “same and different”. This does NOT mean “man and woman” because those are not the only genders, and it is possible for a bisexual to be attracted to women and non-binary folks but not men and they are still bi. I’ll do a longer form post on bisexuals and pansexuals later.

Pansexual (pan) – Base word meaning “all”. Meaning just that, they are attracted to all genders. Many folks will use bi and pan as SELF IDENTIFIERS for themselves interchangeably, but not everyone does, so be aware and respectful about that.

Asexual (Ace) – Little to no sexual attraction or desire. That does not mean they however that they don’t have ROMANTIC attraction (there will be another more in depth post on the difference between sexual and romantic attraction later)

Aromantic (aro) – Little to no romantic attraction or desire. They don’t want to date anyone.

Aro ace – Aromantic asexuals, they have no use for tinder and sound like fighter pilots.

Demisexual (demi) – Root word is half, or less. These folks are on the ace spectrum and do not experience sexual attraction before having some sort of mental or emotional connection. You will often see things like “demisexual biromantic” which roughly translates to “I am open to dating multiple genders but we’re gonna go slow kay?”

Gray asexual (gray ace) – Some but not much sexual attraction.

Transgender – Root word for “across”, someone who does not agree with their assigned at birth gender. So when they popped out the doctor was like “It’s a girl!” and they’re like “Nah”. Also used as an umbrella term for “not cis”

Trans man/Trans woman – Men and women who are trans. Two words. “Isn’t transgender one word?” yeah I know English is fake. Also the consensus was compounding it distanced them from other people of their gender so, two words.

Non binary (NB) – Someone who does not fall within one of the binary (male/female) genders. Often used as a smaller umbrella within the trans umbrella.

Agender – A lack of gender. Genderless. They reject your concept of gender and are using that space to store snacks.

Gender fluid – Gender is inherently fluid, but for these people it flows more quickly and to wider extremes than most folks. So, depends on the day, you should ask.

Gender nonconforming (GNC) – These people do not subscribe to a binary gender.

Demiboy/Demigirl – Almost but not QUITE whatever the second part is. If gender is a scale of 1-10, with 1 and 2 being men, and 9 and 10 being women, with 4-7 being most non-binary genders, demigenders would be the 3 and 8.

Two Spirit – A term used to describe Native gender concepts that don’t map to European binary gender concepts. Wiki page below.

LGBTQA2s – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer (and/or questioning), Asexual (NOT ALLY), and Two Spirit

If there are any terms you’ve seen floating around that I don’t go over here that you think I should cover, let me know and I’ll try to add them in!